Pirates of the Caribbean

Yohoho and a bottle of rum. Recently, my wife and I watched all 5 Pirates movies and I have some thoughts… What I thought I would do is jump in and review each movie briefly out of 10 and then the series on my usual parameters. So get your rum, get your pirate hat, and let’s have some fun!

Pirates of the Caribbean: The Curse of the Black Pearl

Ah, the movie that started it all. Everyone in my generation has a fond memory of this movie and for good reason. Jack Sparrow, excuse me there should be a captain in there somewhere, is the perfect protagonist for this epic adventure. Goofy, arrogant, and let’s face it, quite good at pirating, Johnny Depp steals the show as Captain during this feature alongside Orlando Bloom’s William Turner and his love interest of Keira Knightley’s Elizabeth Swann.

Their adventure puts them up against the mutinous Hector Barbossa (easily the best villain in the series) as they work to undo the curse placed upon the crew of Jack’s old ship (now Barbossa’s) by some errant Aztec gold. Barbossa is equally as captivating as Jack as a pirate, and paired with the kidnapping of Elizabeth, makes for a dastardly villain.

This movie really has it all: humor, action, adventure, a good plot, great characters, I could go on and on. The only thing I felt missing, was some sort of plot twist about William and his relationship to a former member of the crew, but I guess we will just have to wait for that to come in a later movie…

Rating: 9/10 highly recommended, makes me want to be a pirate.

Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Man’s Chest

In terms of a sequel, it doesn’t get much better than this. We really get to expand upon the lore of the world with this movie, getting an explanation for how Jack got the Black Pearl originally, who is the real big bad of the series, and what role does the wider British Government play in all of this.

I think what most people remember from this movie is Davy Jones and how good the animation of his tentacles were, but I really think the takeaway is just how strong of a narrative we get with Bootstrap Bill. Remember that twist I mentioned missing in the first movie? Well here we go! Not only is William the son of a pirate like we learned in the first movie, his dad is now part of Davy Jones’ crew and can’t be saved. Instead, Bill saves his son from the same fate. Absolute Cinema.

The final scene of Jack fighting the “beasty” is also one of my favorite things he does as it shows he isn’t just a coward. Also, Barbossa was the original post credits scene reveal, and you can’t change my mind… Yes, I know it was before the credits…

Rating: 8/10 again just a fantastic movie, highly recommended.

Pirates of the Caribbean: At World’s End

At World’s End is such a weird film for me. On one hand it is still really strong, on the other, I feel like we could’ve had so much more. We’re really getting into the myths of the sea now with all the different moving parts to save Jack, and the East India Trading company as the real villains working alongside Davy Jones was cool, but ehhh I don’t know how to rate this one. Really good moments, but just not as cohesive as the others before it.

I think where this movie succeeds is it gives a satisfying conclusion to the trilogy and wraps a lot of plot up in the last 30 minutes or so. The cinematography is amazing as well, the East India Trading company leader’s ship being destroyed in slow motion while he walks down the stairs is so iconic. I think this movie is hurt by how good 1 and 2 are as I feel like I am being unfair to what is objectively a great movie, yet I don’t think it is quite as good.

Rating: 7/10 worth a rewatch for sure.

Pirates of the Caribbean: On Stranger Tides

There’s a lot to say about the 4th installment. Was 3 enough? Did Depp really want to do this movie? Can you make a good Pirates film without Bloom and Knightley? The answers to these 3 questions are as follows: No, maybe, and yes.

This movie has a bad rep because it came out so late after the first 3 and genuinely wasn’t as good as that trilogy, but it is in no way a bad movie. Blackbeard is a cool villain, Barbossa as a privateer hell bent on revenge is awesome, and Depp still looked like he was loving the role of Jack Sparrow.

While the plot is a bit strange (no pun intended), it was fun to have the Spanish be the villains for once instead of the British. This meant a lot of different vibes were around the crew especially as Barbossa technically works for the crown now. I think this is an underrated film for sure, is it great? No. But is it bad? Also no.

Rating: 6/10 worth a watch if you’ve enjoyed 1-3 and want to continue the story.

Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Men Tell No Tales

My god, what did they do to you??? This movie can be described as one of the worst things I’ve ever sat through. Barbossa as pirate lord is great, but he is too self-absorbed to really drive the plot forward and by the time the twist at the end happens I no longer care about him. Depp clearly did not want to be here as his performance of Jack Sparrow made me hate the character I always loved up until this point, the return of Bloom’s William Turner was dumb in my opinion as they undid his whole schtick of making do with his curse, Knightley’s Swann didn’t even have a line, and they just straight up bring back Jones in the post credits scene.

All in all, this movie was a disaster…

Rating: 2/10 under no circumstances should you watch this one.